I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
That's when you crack a 10am beer
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
