I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
