Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My vagina just recognized that song.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
