I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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