So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
