Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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