Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
