This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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