Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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