i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
