OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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