i jhust puked up my retainher.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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