Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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