I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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