actually, I'm a sock model
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
