what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
