Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
40s are totally the cure
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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