I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
that is very illegal...i love you.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
