But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
