Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Randomize
