i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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