literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
