You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
where are my eyebrows?
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