I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
