Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
