Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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