called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
