my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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