I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
