OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
