proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
it's great music for shaving your balls
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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