I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Randomize
