i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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