dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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