Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
