He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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