They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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