I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
