After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Randomize
