Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
