Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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