Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Boobs speak an international language.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
