ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
