I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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