When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
