I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
