He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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