the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
