Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
