So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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