so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize