I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
