whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
