Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
