HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
