My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i out mim tonsoeep
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