I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
