His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
