her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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