I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
