i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
