If that was your dad, he is hot
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
