YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
