I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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