JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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