i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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