you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
